The words you’re about to read might be painful. They might cause you to make some sort of I-have-no-idea-how-to-type-it out-noise from your mouth or nose while slightly retracting your head and raising an eyebrow at the same time. So brace yourself, because shit’s about to get real.

There is a very real possibility the problem isn’t Gary – it’s you (insert mouth-nose-noise-head-retracting-eyebrow-raising here).

Now before you brush this off as an absolute impossibility, hear me out. I know how hard it can be to admit when we’re not awesome. We typically justify our non-awesomeness is caused by the non-awesomeness of our significant other. They did something to make us do/say whatever it was that didn’t show just how awesome we really are. Think about when you get together with friends and everyone takes turns bitching about what non-awesome things their significant other did. How many times has anyone owned up by saying perhaps they themselves were being less than awesome and could understand why their guy was also acting like this? Could it also be that perhaps they – gasp! – are a must-have-it-my-way control freak with near impossible standards who lives in a constant state of stress because things aren’t perfectly perfect and therefore never happy? Hmmm, ya that could be it. But how many of these types of people will admit THEY are really the problem? I’m guessing not many. How many of them will say they have never found a Gary, or thought they might have found Gary but decided he wasn’t Gary because he failed to live up to their psycho standards?

Relationships are hard. And like I’ve said in previous blogs, everyone has their Gary deal breakers and their check-lists. But sometimes you have to take a truthful look at yourself, sigh, look at the ground and mumble, and realize YOU might be the one sabotaging Gary – you know, the Gary who is already in your life. And if you want to keep him (check out the I Have a Gary, Now What? blog for more on this), allow me to (sort of) paraphrase Michael Jackson:  if you want to keep your Gary within your range, take a look at yourself and make a change.

Agree? Disagree? Questions? I want to hear from you! Please comment and share this blog, and don’t forget to follow me on Twitter @TheGaryClub

The Gary Club: You’re either IN or you’re OUT.

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