Gary could be staring you right in the face and you wouldn’t even know it.
Sounds cliché, right? Don’t roll your eyes yet.
I’m not talking about the guy you consider a brother because you’ve been best friends with since kindergarten (although, come to think of it, even he shouldn’t be ruled out). I’m talking about the men you pass over because they’re not your “type.” Don’t pretend you don’t have a type – we all have one, whether we care to admit it or not.
Some of you might argue and say it’s simply coincidence all your exes happen to have been jocks, cowboys, and nerds of Italian, Greek, and Chinese decent. And it didn’t work out because they were all assholes.
“I just want a nice guy!” you cry. “I just want someone thoughtful! I just want someone who won’t send me unsolicited dick pics!”
But if someone who was the complete opposite of the type of guy you usually date showed interest, I bet you would instantly shun the idea. You’re into pro-athletes? No way would you date an IT nerd.
But imagine for a minute if you were open to getting to know this person, even if you thought there was no way in hell you would have anything in common or actually fall for him.
One of my friends, by her own admission, used to only go for gorgeous guys who were douche bags and treated her like shit. Tired of being with guys who weren’t worthy of her, she decided to switch gears and go out with someone who was no GQ cover model, but had a kind heart and treated her like a queen. They are now married and she’s never been happier.
Another woman I know almost wrote off her Gary before they even went out. They met online, and while she thought he was cute in his profile picture, she didn’t have much hope because he wasn’t “hot” like her previous loves.
As she observed him walking into the coffee shop for their date from the safety of her car, she also noted he was short, had a belly, and was balding. She planned to walk inside, quickly drink her latte, shake his hand goodbye, and never see him again.
But something happened when they were face to face. She noticed his kind eyes. The way he spoke in a respectful manner. The way he made her laugh. Maybe going outside her dating box wouldn’t be terrible after all.
It’s been five years and he’s still the kind, respectful, funny man he was the first time they met.
My point to all this is Gary could be right in front of you if you only open yourself up to the idea that accountant with the bad comb over could be your Prince Charming.
And let’s not forget I almost missed out on my Gary (see To All The Garys – And Non-Garys – Who Have Come and Gone, and The One That Almost Got Away) because I stupidly took a long time to take my own advice. I can be slow, okay?
The Rolling Stones sang “You can’t always get what you want/But if you try sometimes well you might find /You get what you need.”
Agree? Disagree? I want to hear from you! Please comment and share this blog, and don’t forget to follow me @TheGaryClub
The Gary Club: you’re either IN or you’re OUT.